Sobriety In College
482 days. That’s how long it’s been since the last time I drank. Sobriety as a whole is too large a topic for just one blog post, so I’m gonna focus on what it’s like not drinking in college. This idea that you don’t need to drink to have fun is a foreign concept to most people at this age. And I get it, I totally get it. The thought of not drinking in college would have sent high school me into a panic, raising questions such as: “Well, then what am I supposed to do for fun? How will I make friends? You really expect me to hang out in a frat basement sober?” And to that, I say: “You can do exactly what you’ve been doing for fun, minus the booze. You’re actually a much better person and a better friend sober. And yes, you will hang out in a frat basement sober, but I can’t promise it would’ve been better if you had been hammered.”
For some context, I stopped drinking at the tail end of my senior year of high school. Without getting into it too much (but I can later if you want) my decision to get sober was not something I was super keen on at the beginning. Though it was a decision I consciously made over and over again, I wasn’t doing it for myself, which made it a lot harder. I stopped drinking because seeing my mom’s all-consuming worry for me and her countless displays of concern and attempts to control me wore me down. Also, I was a total pain in the ass to everyone else around me when I was drinking. I was totally not a fun party girl I was more like a problem party girl. So, I was going into my freshman year of college, in a different state, newly sober, not knowing many people, and terrified that my college experience was bound to crash and burn because I didn’t drink. Spoiler alert, it didn’t.
One of the first things I realized once I got to school was that people don’t really notice if you’re not drinking at a party. And, to further that point, when I tell people I don’t drink, a lot of the time their responses are pretty welcoming and receptive. With that being said, there are always gonna be those assholes out there who can’t wrap their head around this concept and instead follow up with snarky comments or invasive questions. To them, I say: “Get a life, suck a dick, and work out your own issues.” Jk, normally it’s more like I uncomfortably laugh and then proceed to overthink about the fact I don’t drink for the rest of the night. Clearly, I’m still working on standing up for myself.
Overall, not drinking in college has been a pretty positive experience for me and while I’m sure a lot of that can be attributed to luck and circumstances I’ve also had my share of struggles. I remember one of my first times going out in college the entire concept of the night revolved around blacking out. So, naturally, I panicked. I called my sister absolutely freaking that everyone thought I was a weirdo because I wasn’t drinking and that I wouldn’t fit in and find friends. That’s just an example of a bad night out- my worst nights have been when I accidentally get served alcohol and have an existential crisis at the bar- but, would you look at that, I made it through and everything ended up working out just fine.
Being sober in college does not equate to not going out or not having fun. BEING SOBER IN COLLEGE DOES NOT EQUATE TO NOT GOING OUT OR NOT HAVING FUN. Sorry, I had to say it a second time because it’s a hard one to get through your head (I’m still constantly reminding myself of this). In my opinion, getting ready, pregaming, going out with your friends, and then debriefing in the morning is one of life’s simplest pleasures, even sober. I’m saying this because I don’t want to come off as some ‘higher than ye’ bitch just because I don’t drink. Going out and drinking with friends constitutes a large chunk of young adult social interactions and there’s nothing wrong with that, trust me, if I could I would. The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s okay to know your limitations and work around them. You can still have fun sober, I promise.
This post has been difficult for me to write because I have so much to say and I feel like I need to get it all out there and get it right. But the truth is that sobriety in any form looks different from person to person so there is no 'perfect’ way of talking about it, and talking about it to begin with is a step in the right direction. Although I’m sure that many people reading this are having entirely different college experiences from mine, sober or not, I wanted to give you guys a peek into my perspective. Do what you will with this information but I hope it gives you a new insight and respect for everyone around you and their uniquely individual struggles. Ahhhh this one is scary! Bye guys love you.
