Corporate America Hates Me
The title of this blog post sounds harsh, but I mostly mean it as a joke, mostly… If you are a future or past employer reading this, don’t let it turn you off, I swear I am a great asset to any job. But, basically, I will be sharing my observations and reflections on my summer from inside the depths of corporate America. For some context, this was my first job ever and I was an intern at a financial planning firm. Was it a good idea for my first work experience to be a 9-5 job in a real office with real adults and real clients? Probably not, but I also tend to underestimate myself.
My biggest grievance from my exposure to the real world of corporate America was the dress code. I am not oblivious to the fact that dressing for work and dressing for a night out have clear and necessary distinctions, but come on, it’s 2023. For example, let’s say I’m styling a pair of baggy trousers, my natural instinct would be to pair it with a little plain white baby tee and some loafers or slides. As someone who had to check her outfit with her mom everyday before leaving for work, that’s apparently not “office appropriate.” Instead, the expectation is for me to wear my baggy trousers with a devastatingly boring blouse and a frumpy cardigan. As someone who takes great pride and joy in picking out their outfits each morning, this was a major bummer. Don’t get me wrong, work clothes can definitely be cute and even the most mundane of staple work pieces can be styled into a slay, but the stereotypical idea of what you should be wearing to work has got to go. I’m not saying to show up to work looking like you’re ready to go clubbing, but if an outfit is appropriate and respectable, is it the end of the world if my skirt is a bit mini?
Not to sound like the biggest dumbass ever, but, I was simply not made to work a nine-to-five sitting at a desk all day. Obviously, no one was fucking made to spend a major fraction of their lives sitting at a desk going click clack on their computer all damn day, but it’s the world we live in. With that being said, I’m holding onto hope that the future includes a revamped version of the stereotypical work day. I don’t really have any evidence to back that up, it’s more of just a gut feeling coupled with our generation’s lack of attention span. I think that creating an environment where people feel comfortable and self-assured, even if that means more unorthodox work practices, would do a hell of a lot more for a business’s productivity and success than an eight hour work day. (Side note: This is the opinion of a 19 year old who just had her first job, so, needless to say, take this with a grain of salt).
After my first day of work I felt like had been chewed up and spit back out. The only thing I could do after work was take a shower, put on my pajamas, and get into bed. And it wasn’t as if I had been doing a physically labor-intensive job and even the work I did have was mostly clerical mindless tasks that were easy enough, but sitting at a desk for eight hours a day and working on things that you are not personally invested or interested in drained the life out of me. If you’re rolling your eyes right now I understand because you’re probably thinking “this girl got her first taste of the real world and can’t hang.” But an important distinction I want to make is that I am not complaining; though my friends can attest that I am a big complainer, it’s something I’m working on and mainly used for humor. This was a great opportunity and I am so thankful for this internship even if it was not the best match for me. This leads me to my next point, actually caring about whatever it is that you’re working on makes your job 1000x more enjoyable and produces better results. As I’m growing up and becoming more of an adult (lol) I have struggled with accepting the fact that not everything can be fun. My summer internship was like a three month long exposure therapy practice in this. The harsh truth of Corporate America is this: you have to work to make money, and to live, and to do everything else you ACTUALLY want to do in your life. This means that, yes, a large portion of your adult life will be spent working, and, yes, it may not be fun all the time, but if you truly are passionate about your work, it can’t be all that bad. (Side note: As someone who has no idea what they want to do in the future and is still using college to explore interests, this definitely put the heat on me a bit but we won’t get into that right now).
Now that we got all the big important stuff I wanted to say out of the way, let’s get real.
Why is it an unspoken rule in Corporate America that you have to get a salad for lunch? I have eaten more salads this summer interning than I have in my entire life. I don’t even really like salads.
Being the person who sits at the front desk feels like being the office bottle girl. My main purpose is to sit here and look pretty.
No one talks about the post-lunch slump, let’s normalize it. Everyone needs a little nap at their desk after lunch.
I think I Pavloved myself by getting a cookie everyday after work. That was literally the only thing that got me through the day.
The big industrial printers at work scare me. Don’t ask me to print or scan or fax anything, idk how.
Email etiquette is just doing way too much. Like I just need to send you a document, why am I asking how your vacation is going?
Having a reason to leave work early feels like when your mom would take you out of school for a doctor’s appointment or something. One of the best feelings ever.
In the spirit of Corporate America, Thank you so much! I look forward to hearing from you soon! Let me know if you have any questions!
